February 2012
22 posts
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January 2012
19 posts
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December 2011
10 posts
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"The Siren" by Jay Burnham
The cheap tick of my wristwatch
And the haze of cigarette smoke.
Fortunes won and manipulated luck,
My yearning eyes find you, doll
Cross the room and kill every man
You fail to notice. They see you,
As if tonight you would not be mine
Come a little closer. That hair,
Those legs, the way you smoke.
That red dress could fetch any sap
But you were my own glamorous ruin
Adore me, in the taxi, on the...
7 tags
Ridiculously Serious White Girl Problems
1. When a man walks into a unisex bathroom while you pee.
2. Holes in the bottom of your toe-socks.
3. Running out of toilet paper when taking even the most daintiest of shits.
4. When you fart while wearing a pair of stalkings and you can’t completely expel the fart bubble from your rectum?
5. When you accidentally throw away your MacBook air with your newspaper.
6. When your died hair grows out...
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The Way People Suck When They Ejaculate Too Soon"
A.K.A. “Sam’s Poem”
***
Nothing so unsatisfying or incomplete
as when you find that in spite of the thick
creamy glob of doomed and undead babies,
which billows all over your tits, it now begs
to prove that you’ve never felt so alone.
A poem for your mothers, meow-meow.
That’s it, said the girl, who cried
and murmured incoherently
until the cold rigid kiss of...
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The Infestation
So there I was, lying horizontally on my front door, which itself laid at an acute angle on the concrete sidewalk and the bottom step of my stoop. Sherri had thrown me through said door and completely tore the hinges from the house. Only moments earlier, I had smashed a vase over the bulbous and painfully stinky folds of her back. I’m not saying I wasn’t in the wrong, but know two things: (1) that...
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"Bad is the New Good"
This was no simple lookalike – this man was my antithetical doppelganger. Both of us were 7,823 days old, just over six-feet tall, and splattered with an identical yet complex pattern of freckles. Yet, He wore my body with more muscle tone, a conservative haircut, and a paler complexion.
We quite literally stumbled into each other at a crossroad. I strolled down a street known for its abundance of...
Pilfered
One of my favorite hobbies is stealing things. It’s not the fact that I don’t make enough money to buy things I want, or even because it’s ridiculously easy and fun. Rather, it’s the rush I get from doing something I know is wrong in a retaliatory move against a capitalist society. To be clear, I don’t steal from any mom and pop stores or anything like that – only corporate giants that have a...
6 tags
Plank
I knew no good would come out of moving into a neighborhood with construction ceaselessly occurring. Every morning at 6:00 AM, I am woken up by the sound of machinery grinding away. When the dodgy structure behind my apartment was finally torn down, all of the cockroaches lost their home – and guess where they all went? Bingo! Now I can’t even turn on the light in my bathroom without noticing at...
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Just a little rant...
Why did I have to get sick this weekend? This weekend of all weekends – those two days of grace when I could have caught up on everything the week before finals! Fucking fuck. Shit. Damnit. D’oh. Fucktastic, shitty, ass gurgling fuckwad on a stick, burning to an apparent death on a fire fed by term papers of yester-year. The amount of puke expelled from my body does not compare to the amount of...
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Puff
I promised myself that I would quit by the time I graduated college. So here I was – the night before the ceremony that bridged the gap between adolescence and student loans. I was alone, on the balcony of my high-rise apartment building, and about to spark up what should be my last cigarette ever. I played Wu-Tang Clan’s “Protect Ya Neck” – the song that I first smoked a cigarette to and stared...